before you read this letter i need you to do something. log onto lds .org and look up the mormon messages an unexpected gift. no cheating okay really watch it before you continue.
okay so now that youve felt the spirit that i did ill continue.
i think a lot about my life. about when i was young wondering what it will be like when im in high school and can drive, to when i was in middle school and my biggest problem was the first time i thought i loved someone (ha ha) and then life started the get a little more serious. of wondering if i was going to go on a mission, or if my friend will be sent back to juvenile detention. then more real to when one of my closest old friends told me she was a heroine addict and had thought about ending her life.
i think about the pain our choices cause the people we love. about how such small decisions (it seems small) can have such big consequences on our personal lives and more importantly on the lives of our loved once. satans really good at convincing that people should accept you for who you are and they shouldnt be upset with you, theyre getting upset for no reason. and thats the hard thing about it is most of the time, the people making the worst choices deep down inside have no intention of hurting anyone. there are those few that have fallen so ldeeply into sin that they are past feeling... but at least from my experience the path of sin has an interesting way of pulling us in slowly until before we know it the only thing that seems to "excite" or "interest" you are thing that hurt you and the ones you love but like i said before satan is good.
i also think a lot about how parents somehow keep loving kids no matter how many times they loose trust, or how much the innocent people in life are always the ones that seem to be hurt not deservingly... and then the hardest to understand is how the savior could love us so much to experience it all... not deservingly.. i think it says it best in isaiah 53. and the thing that always seems to get me is how the very people he loved and served and prayed for and came to save are the ones who rejected him. and he knew it, and knew he would be betrayed, and knew he would be mocked and left alone.... and he did it anyways....
and now were here and we have our own trials and times where we feel alone. and even though they arent the same as the saviors at some times we feel like its more than we can handle. think about those times... whether its by your own choices, the choices of others... and then think about that video. the unexpected gift.. think about all the little things that we have because of the savior. about the way that even though we feel along sometimes we are never alone. and in those times where we feel that way theres always somehow something... its not always big and i think more often than not they go unnoticed. but if you think back on the times that were the hardest... thats when the lord is the closest. i know thats true in my life and i could never express enough my gratitude for all of you and for the savior. and im completely convinced that its all true. that the savior lives and its not just a belief to make life better or an idea to give us comfort but its real and tangible. im so glad im serving a mission i cant even express it.. this is the best i can and its kulang pa.
anyways i love you all and i want you all to remember that if your having those same chillenges... remember where i once was and now am... because of the savior.
love you all............... elder landeen