hello everyone garabee talaga ang general conference. general conference while on a mission is like thanksgiving dinner pr christmas morning. this was a good week we had zone conference and then general conference. ust a week full of excitement.
i want to just share some of my thoughts with you after general conference. i hope you enjoy this weeks sermon ha ha.
one theme i picked out for myself was connected to the talks by elder anderson and elder bednar about conversion, testimony, and trials of faith. and the theme i picked was the word duda. or in english "doubt"
funny how that is what i got from general conference. but i guess thats what the message that the spirit had for me. and i hope i dont bore you as i talk about some of the things i thought about as these apostles explained so clearly the concepts of faith and conversion.
doubt is something i think that all of us have at one point or another. and i think its just a part of being human. it often makes me laugh at how much i find myself doubting... in myself.. in other things. after all the spiritual experiences ive had here and before the mission.. why is there still doubt that creeps its way in? how is it that you can find yourself doubting things one day that one day you talked about knowing for certain....
for me i think this is expecially hard because when anxiety comes... doubt follows. and that doubt turns into more anxiety. so i was left thinking during general conference.... why do i ever even doubt? why am i not like nephi or all those great prophets in the book of mormon?
we all know that doubt and fear are the opposite of faith... but what is it that we need to do to have that faith to the extent that we no longer doubt? it was just circling round and round in my mind. you think about alma 32, ether 12 6, and all the other great scriptures about faith and think wow why am i so weak....
faith really is a gift from god and its not something that comes at once or you can say one day,,,, yep i have faith now. its something at lest for me that ive found ive needed to really pray and ask for. and as i was thinking about the things that i do doubt about sometimes... and then neal l anderson said it perfectly. sometimes people let the short comings of church leaders or untrue things that they read on the internet or other sources let their faith weaken and loose testimony. but we have the ability to CHOOSE to believe, have faith, or doubt. i believe that the constant choosing of faith over fear and choosing to believe when that doubt comes into your mind is the only way to overcome the doubt that we all have. we just have to CHOOSE to put our trust in things we cant see. which is hard at times because you open yourself up to being hurt emotionally but as you CHOOSE to have that faith and belief despite what others say or what you hear or what that voice in your mind (the natural man) says and consistantly choose to believe, and act on that belief.. over a long period of time youll be able to look back and see the results and change in yourself.
ive had a lot of spiritual experiences. and some of them really strong. but none of them have done the same for my faith and testimony as has the consistancy in striving to make right decisions and believing in the promised blessing of obedience, even when i dont see the blessing in my time frame. i think thats why one of elder bednars favorite words is consistancy.. because thats what is required. one noble act wont erase a life time of doubt and sin... but a life time of constant striving and well failing in the process WILL make the changes necessary to become "a saint" like it says in mosiah 3:19
ive got a long ways to go. and a lot of changes to make. but i am trying, every day to be consistant in my efforts to become a diciple of jesus christ. and i hope that someday ill be able to come to that point and have faith like the brother of jared... like peter AFTER he was converted. and like the sons of helaman that did not DOUBT in the words of their mothers.
mahal na mahal ko kayong lahat sana may sinabi ako na makakatulong sa inyo... hanggang sa susunod na linggo.. elder landeen