to start of lets say i have had a breakthrough on wednesday. i was getting progressively worse everyday and i thought for sure i couldnt handlle it anymore. so my branch president told me to go talk to a counsilor and when i did it was exactly what i needed.
he told me i have definate anxiety and he called it like over analysis chronic thought or some kinda think like that where basicaly one random thought that comes to mind out of nowhere for no reason is over analyzed and branches out into a million different things then eventually you have a blurred perspective on reality and it is your reality and ya but i thinki have had quite the reality check so until next week i will be trying to tell myself to shut up everytime i start thinking. but i have to do this while im thinking non stop all day about tagalog and the gospel. and when the thought that comes to your mind is you dont have enought faith to do this and your supposed to telll yourself to shuty up when you think about that while at the same time your talking about faith all day.... i think you know what im getting at. quite the talk at hand. good thing god loves us right?
with that out of my chest ill just go to sharing something good.
yesterday at the trc it was awesome i still have no idea what i am doing and i just throw out random crap but i honestly feel like the random crap i throw out is still being guided by the spirit. i dono much but one thing i do know is how to follow a prompting and to not question it even if it doesnt make sense to you.
each companionship in the district has had a progressing investigator in that they are teaching every day or two, and its all in tagalog. it helps you understand what it means to rely on a companionship as a team effort and definately rely on the lord for guidance. im not bragging when i say this but the other companionships that were teaching konrad ( its really brother day but his character is Konrad, someone he taught on his mission) has been dropped because he lost interest. but me and elder needs have been teaching him and he has actually been progressing. our lessons seem terrible to me and yesterday i had to slip and use english but the thing we have is the spirit and i know that withouut it wed be sunk for sure.
The old zone leader elder partridge is about to ship out to manilla next week and i see a lot of myself in him. he seems absolutely terrified but at the same time excited. his tagalag isnt the best in his district but i can tell he understands the workings of the spirit- at least as well as any of us. but the reason i say this is man he has been a great zone leader and he understood what i was feelin and has been able to give great advice.
just so everyone knows my district will be performing nearer my god to thee in tagalag in front of the mtc and i found out how much i enjoy singing. weird to me but it is what it is im gonna try to develop that talent for sure.
if anyone thats learned a language wouldnt mind writing me a letter with study strategies of how to get better that would be helpful cause i dont thinki know how to study very effectively and i needa learn that before im in the jungle.
its cool seein josh here amd its going to be interesting to see how jason is his first couple of weeks hopefully by then i will be in joshs shoes and be able to give him good advice ha
im so excited to be able to teach real people. one thing for sure that i have loved the whole time here is teaching no matter what what i practived teaching at the trc or just whenever i really enjoy it because i keep thinking about how i will be able help people and ah man im just about outa time. sorry if this letter told you nothing good!
a couple things... when you respond to emails will you use dear elder? that way i can read it and dont use email time to read. wheni get to the fiend itll be different but as for here i found that dear elder is the fastest way cause it gets there the same day so its just like email.
well i love you all thanks for the letters and love