Monday, February 20, 2012

hello again

kumusta na kayo. sana okay lang at buhay pa. im happy to let you all know i am still alive and my health is back to normal. ive made it past my ban of dairy products which was super hard cause thats about all we eat at the house in the morning is eggs. but i did survive it and now im right back to egg sandwiches in the mornings. everyone keeps telliing me i got so skinny but i think that they are imagining things ha. but anyways ive got a story to tell you so here goes.

i had a really crappy experience this past week that was pretty hard for me. it was the first time its happened to me while ive been here. the pascual's that ive been teaching forever ever since i got here in santiago have told us they dont want us to come to teach them anymore that they are going to stick with being catholic. any of you missionaries that have seen that its like a slap in the face, you wonder how that can happen. how do they decide to not accept it. there were so many times in lessons there that i know the spirit was there, and i know that tatay knows that its not the truth doon sa catholics but they still made that choice,. and its really made me think and wonder. what went wrong. why didnt they get a testimony and why didnt they choose to follow the things i know that they have felt. keep in mind that they had accepted a baptismal date, they had been to church they had seen recent converts bear their testimony of how they learned the church is true and how they felt the spirit,.,,.... so what went wrong.

i was reminded of a talk i heard by David A Bednar of the 12 apostles and he quoted 2 nephi chapter 33 verse 1. 1 And now I, Nephi, cannot write all the things which were taught among my people; neither am I amighty in writing, like unto speaking; for when a man bspeaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.

2 But behold, there are many that aharden their bhearts against the Holy cSpirit, that it hath no place in them; wherefore, they cast many things away which are written and esteem them as things of naught.

Elder Bednar stressed the word unto and how that he specifically chose that word unstead of into because people have the choice to recieve the holy ghost or reject it. i was reading their teaching record and i noticed a big flaw there were many time that there wasnt any prayer and thinking back it came down to the whole all we can do is invite them to come unto christ and they have the agency to choose if they will accept the invitation or hindi. its hard for me. thinking back on how hard my heart used to be i wonder how the savior feelts when his people he came to save dont accept him. i want more than anything for these people to understand it but they have to accept it. and if their hearts arent receptive to the holy ghost they wont be able to recieve an answer, i gues only god knows when we have real intent and a broken heart. thats the qualifications right. ?

tatay pascual was one of my favprites and to see him close a door to happines and truth because of doubt and heardness of heart, or maybe fear of comittment... just hurts! and it realy points me toward the savior when he had his friends leave him to carry his cross and suffer while they were all sleeping. its well its almost too much to think about. tatay pascual has been baptised 4 different times in various different churches. hes expressed his desire to find the truth and how he knows the churches he has been atending are not the fullness of the truth. but even a desire and knowledge like that i guess doesnt mean you are ready to make the changes needed to commit to the truth. he did say that he hopes there comes a time when he will be ready to commit. he didnt necessarily shut any doors and i hope and pray that sometime he well to be frank pulls his head out and realizes that he knows exactly where the truth is.

i share that experience with you cause it just kinds opened my eyes on agency. we all belive this is true so lets just follow it and think of the savior a little more everyday. he died to give us the chance to even have a possibility of happiness and without that hope we are nothing. so lets use it. well i love you all and i hope this wasnt too boring ha. ill let you know what happens. transfer day is on thursday so im gonna have some changes in the people im living with. elder valdez has been my friend here for most of my time here im kinda sad that hes getting transfered. elder kelson is also going home this week and man all the people in my zone that i got close with are leaving this week. things go by so fast but i think ive got at least one more cycle here in santiago so unless president throws me a curve ball ill still be here next week. ill let you know what happens. but anyways mahal ko kayo..... elder landeen

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